Expanding Self Love with Radical Boundaries

By Anjali Romaniuk

If you’ve ever felt intimidated by the idea of setting boundaries in your life or relationships, my hope is that by the end of this post, you’ll walk away with a fresh perspective and feel inspired to begin embracing Radical Boundaries on your own journey.

One of the most pivotal lessons I’ve learned on my path to building an unshakable relationship with myself is the power of healthy boundaries. In fact, boundaries have transformed my life in so many powerful ways that it has become one of my favorite topics to teach my clients. I firmly believe that boundaries are a gateway to self-empowerment for women, and a cornerstone for developing a strong, trusting relationship with yourself.

Boundaries have a bad reputation in some circles—sometimes they feel rigid or cold, and we may worry about upsetting others. But boundaries are not about keeping people out; they are about making space for your true self to exist fully. Think of them as your personal “Terms and Conditions,” which are designed to help you thrive, based on your values. When practiced with love and clarity, boundaries allow us to navigate life with confidence and safety. They help us understand who we are, what we need, and what we’re no longer available for. Boundaries are less about what you say and more about how you embody your truth, showing the world where your energy starts and ends.

Understanding Boundary Types

Let’s break down the three most common boundary types:

Rigid Boundaries:
These are firm and unyielding. They act as a strong protective shield, helping us avoid harm and setting clear “no’s” in our lives. While rigid boundaries are powerful in protecting our energy, they can sometimes leave us isolated, closed off, or feeling disconnected. When we live within these walls for too long, we can become hardened, judgmental, and miss out on connection. The remedy here is to connect with the tender heart beneath the walls—allowing yourself to soften when it’s safe, and expanding your capacity for love and connection.

Porous Boundaries:
These are more fluid, often lacking clear structure. They come from a desire to keep the peace and avoid conflict, but this can lead to resentment, self-abandonment, and burnout. Porous boundaries often come from a fear of being perceived as “mean” or “rude,” and they can leave us feeling taken advantage of. If you recognize yourself here, the healing lies in reconnecting with your inner power. Protecting your energy is not mean—it’s a way of honoring your worth. Let that sense of inner strength rise up, and trust that it’s okay to assert your needs with clarity and compassion.

Radical Boundaries:
These are the most empowering and nourishing boundaries, a beautiful blend of firm and soft. Radical boundaries stem from deep self-awareness and are rooted in personal responsibility. When you set radical boundaries, you’re doing it with the understanding that it’s your responsibility to honor your own needs, regardless of how others may react. Radical boundaries help you navigate life with ownership, knowing exactly when to stand firm and when to soften in response to the situation. They are an expression of love, both for yourself and for others, because they allow for more authentic, respectful relationships.

A Personal Story of Transformation
When I first began setting boundaries in my own life, it felt deeply uncomfortable. I was used to accommodating others, saying “yes” when I meant “no,” and avoiding conflict at all costs. But once I started saying “no” to things that drained me and “yes” to things that nourished my soul, I began to feel a shift. At first, I received feedback like, “You’ve changed,” or “Why are you being so harsh?” But rather than retreating, I chose to explain my boundaries with kindness and clarity. Over time, I realized that these boundaries were not walls, but bridges to deeper, more meaningful connections. I felt freer, more empowered, and truly at peace with myself.

5 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Current Boundary Patterns

1. In what situations do I feel most drained or uncomfortable, and how might my boundaries contribute to those feelings?
2. When someone crosses a line with me, do I assert my needs or stay silent? How does my response affect my well-being?
3. Are there patterns in my relationships where I feel resentful or taken advantage of, and what boundaries could help change this?
4. Do I ever feel guilt or fear when setting a boundary, and what beliefs or past experiences might be contributing to these feelings?
5. How consistent am I with upholding my boundaries, and what would it take for me to be more steadfast in honoring them?

3 Relationships That Could Use Healthier Boundaries

Romantic Relationships:
In any partnership, boundaries are essential for maintaining mutual respect, personal space, and the ability to grow both together and individually. By setting clear boundaries, you allow your relationship to thrive while staying true to yourself.

Friendships:
Healthy boundaries prevent resentment and ensure that both you and your friends feel valued. It’s important to have balance—where support is mutual, and neither person feels overburdened or neglected.

Family Relationships:
Family dynamics often come with unspoken expectations or obligations. Setting clear boundaries with family members can be challenging but is absolutely necessary to preserve your emotional well-being and avoid the trap of people-pleasing or guilt.

3 Ways to Hold Yourself Accountable to Your Boundaries

1. Track Your Boundaries Journal:
Start keeping a journal to track moments when you set and uphold your boundaries. Reflect on how it felt, what challenges you faced, and areas where you can improve. Journaling helps reinforce your commitment and allows you to see your progress over time.

2. Practice Assertiveness Regularly:
Begin asserting your needs in small situations. Practice saying “no” when you're too busy, or express your preferences in casual conversations. This helps you build confidence in setting boundaries, so it feels more natural when bigger moments arise.

3. Enlist Support:
Share your boundary goals with a trusted friend, coach, or therapist. Having someone to check in with helps you stay accountable and provides encouragement when you need it most. It’s important to have support as you strengthen your commitment to yourself.

Your Invitation to Radical Boundaries

Creating radical boundaries is not just a practice; it’s an act of deep self-love and courage. It’s the path to reclaiming your energy, your power, and your freedom. Remember, boundaries don’t just protect you—they allow you to create the space for your authentic self to thrive.

It’s okay if the process feels uncomfortable at first. Just like any new habit, it takes time. Start with small steps, and gradually you’ll begin to notice the positive impact on your life. You’ll feel clearer, more empowered, and deeply aligned with your true self.

I invite you to take this journey of radical boundary-setting. Begin today, and know that with each boundary you honor, you are stepping into a more authentic, fulfilling life—one that celebrates who you truly are.

About the Author:

Anjali Romaniuk is a dedicated Women’s Embodiment Coach and Somatic Practitioner passionate about helping women build an unshakable relationship with themselves. She guides her clients through the transformative journey of healing past wounds of inadequacy, insecurity, shame, and trauma to rediscover their true selves. With Anjali's support, women learn to embrace their authenticity, cultivate true self-love, and embody a deep, confident connection with themselves. Her work empowers women to find their inner strength, creating lives filled with clarity, purpose, and self-trust.

If you’re ready to step into a powerful relationship with yourself, heal deeply, and experience the freedom to be fully you, join Anjali on her Mexico retreat in February 2025 or reach out to Anjali for 1:1 coaching. Embrace this invitation to invest in yourself and awaken the woman within who is ready expand.